Hi there friends! Hope you are having a happy Tuesday so far! I’m super excited to be participating in The Maven Circle’s “Truthy Tuesday” today. I’ve been following along with them for a quite a while and I really love reading Jen & Jena’s weekly insights.
Today’s topic is: Holiday stress busting- how do you deal during this particularly stressful time of year? Do you feel overwhelmed? Or have some tips to share to stay sane during the holidays?
This is a topic I felt really compelled to write about – You can probably guess why…It’s definitely because I’ve spent WAY too many holiday’s and other important life events “stressed out” over silly little things.
An event that comes to mind with a little sadness & a lot of mixed up feelings is my older sisters wedding. Bonnie is not a planner and the whole concept of planning a wedding really overwhelmed her. Since I had done it before and I love planning I was her “go to” girl. Bonnie lives in Texas and I in Georgia so most of the planning was done via phone & email. The week before the wedding we were talking and she was panicking and ended up buying me a one- way ticket to fly out a week early to help her. We ran our butts off for a week trying to tie up all the last minute (and some that shouldn’t have been last minute) details.
By the time the big day rolled around I was EXHAUSTED both mentally and physically! I let all the “little things” really stress me out. Not to make excuses but it was a pretty crazy day! From the venue owner being MIA on the day of the event, to the caterers calling unable to find the venue an hour after they were supposed to be there, to my aunt and uncle who were sent on the mission of collecting all the homemade desserts for the dessert bar locking their keys in the car (after loading all the desserts in the trunk!)..Yea..I could go on but I won’t.
The evening turned out beautifully and my sister and her husband were happily married at the end of the night which is all that REALLY matters, right? What brings me sadness is that I turned into a bit of a witch during the heat of the moment – snapping at family members, workers, and worst of all my husband, who was trying his best to help me!
It was not my finest moment and I immediately regretted my actions – but it was too late. I know the best thing I can do is learn from my mistakes. Unfortunately I’ve been guilty of this kind of behavior many times – this wasn’t an isolated incident. But hey – we’re all growing each day, right? Writing this post is actually quite difficult for me but I think it’s really good for me too! I want to share with you my “take aways” on why I think I was so “stressed out” and what to do about it:
Expectations: Having set up in your head ONE way that things must work out in order for you to be happy. This is a big mistake that I think many of us make – I am super guilty! We cannot control all circumstances no matter how much we plan so a better alternative is to just relax a little and go with the flow.
This is the same with family members, sometimes we have expectations about how family should act or be. Each person is unique and acts from their own personal point of view. So letting go of expectations about family members can allow us to have alot more peace around the holiday’s.
Not having a good “plan”: My sister and I didn’t have a “back up person” I was the event coordinator and I was also a bridesmaid. Not a good scenario But I’ve also experience this in other areas – around the holidays. The first few years that my husband and I were married we had some silly arguments about where we would spend our time (his families or mine). If we simply talk about things ahead of time and have a plan that we both agree on it takes the last minute frustrations completely out of the equation.
Just laugh: Sometimes things are just completely beyond our control and instead of getting upset, frustrated or angry the best thing we can do is laugh! I should have laughed when my uncle called to tell me that the desserts were locked in the trunk and they were waiting on a locksmith. Instead I almost had a panic attack. Now what good was that really going to do?
Focusing on what is really most important: During my sisters wedding I was more focused on the details and the “fuss” of the wedding then on what was really important. What was really important was time with family celebrating love. The same is true during the holidays and so instead of focusing on the “fuss” of the food, the gifts, the travel etc. let’s focus on what is most important: Our loved ones and how incredibly blessed we are!
Please know I’m writing this post to myself more than anything I am SO blessed yet I’m embarrassed to admit that some days I spend fretting over silly things that I shouldn’t even be wasting my brain space on. So today I am committing to spending this years holidays focusing on what’s really important instead of stressing about the details. I hope you’ll join me – and you can keep me accountable e as well!
Thanks for reading & please share below. Do you relate to any of my points? What stresses you out the most at the Holidays?
I look forward to connecting with you! Cheers!